Watching the Watchers

I'm not paranoid.

I know that's an awfully bold statement, but it's true. If I were paranoid, wouldn't I remove all identification from mail I receive and grind it up in a cross-cut shredder and send the shredded pieces to a bulk shredder for final disposal? 

... Oh, wait, I actually do that.

If I were paranoid, wouldn't I use a whole catalogue of passwords that are so long and so complex that AI would burn out whole circuit boards trying to break it down? ... Hmm, I do that as well. I believe you get the point, I'm careful. Or, I try to be.

One of the groups that worked for me in the far distant past provided the security to protect the clinical data of the patients of our 1,000 client hospitals from all over the United States. It was interesting, in a scary sort of way, to watch the attempts to break into our system. These attempts ranged from quite sophisticated to hopelessly pathetic. The most pathetic and numerous came from Howard University where I believe someone was trying to teach a class in hacking. But if that were true, the teacher was so wretched that the student's feeble attempts didn't warrant a second glance.

So, if I were as paranoid as I should be, I wouldn't be on social media at all. 

But I AM, I AM on social media. This blog thing even qualifies in a bizarre sort of way, along with Facebook and other such things. But with the passage of time, my usage of Facebook, for example, has "simplified over the years…crystallized".

Nowadays, I administer a couple of historical specialty groups and communicate with my family through emojis, memes, photographs and links to mostly cat videos. And what Liam Neeson is telling us here is absolutely true. Facebook watches us like a hawk watches a field mouse running along.

Let me give you an example. I happened to notice an apparent issue with Scarlett Johansson's teeth. 

In a photo of her, they looked a little 'off'. Not a big deal, It may not even be real, but an anomaly of that photo. But since we had otherwise discussed Tom Cruise and his rather obvious misalignment, I posted this photo on the left in our private Facebook group.

Now this is a private group with a grand total of four people, all of whom I know pretty well. I should!

We discussed Scarlett and her teeth at some length and I took it upon myself to further research this matter. When you're retired, an important topic like Scarlett Johansson's teeth can suddenly take precedence over other critical subjects. 

When my study was concluded, the decision was reached that I had not used enough data when I posited my first presumptuous assumption.

She's FINE! Everything is fine, I was just a little too quick off the starting blocks. I'm sorry, Scarlett.

Interesting story, Rich, so what? 

After this exchange, I was inundated with links to Scarlett Johannson pages, Scarlett Johansson images, Scarlett Johansson news and it wouldn't stop! It has been months now and I still see her every day! She may be my best friend!

My daughter, who is much smarter than me, says she uses that Facebook trick by deliberately looking at ultra expensive jewelry so Facebook floods her with beautiful images of jewelry. One must know who one is dealing with.

I was reminded of the joke a friend played on a mutual friend. Whenever the target was away, she would quickly use their computer to look up spoons. It didn't take long for spoons to appear all over the target's computer. Excellent use of machine time.

Still not the worst case scenario. My lovely child-bride recently bought an air fryer which is all the rage now. She likes to look for recipes to use on the air fryer. No problem, except then I started getting air fryer recipes in my Facebook feed. That's malevolent. 

If you're still worrying about Tom Cruise's teeth, the story is that he took a hockey puck to the teeth as a child. That's as good a story as any.